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5 Ways To Stop Being Too Afraid To Lose - Forbes

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It can be both rewarding and nerve-wracking to get promoted to a leadership position. While you’re thrilled on the one hand to be moving up the ladder and be recognized for your worth, you might now be worried that you will disappoint the powers that be, making them regret their decision.

Whereas you once moved confidently through the day, making decisions without hesitation, you’re now second-guessing every move. You want to be recognized for your work, but you also don’t want to lose your good standing; you want to keep your reputation intact.

Welcome to the world of too-afraid-to-lose, one of the most prevalent leadership de-railers. Those suffering from the too-afraid-to-lose syndrome:

  • Worry excessively about failing to get the right result.
  • Question and second-guess every step along the way.
  • Avoid decisions and commitments that might cause mistakes.
  • Get involved in every detail, particularly as deadlines loom.

Being too-afraid-to-lose thwarts creative problem solving and impedes team progress. A leader who shies away from certain risks not only hurts themselves but also hampers everyone else’s ability to forge ahead and get the job done.

Call it choking or deer-in-the-headlights paralysis, it often exhibits itself in micromanaging and second-guessing behavior, two behaviors that destroy a leader’s credibility.

Good bosses who fall into this trap often worry about appearing weak. They mistakenly associate failure and mistakes with weakness and incompetence. This false relationship causes them to behave stupidly and out of character, micromanaging details or becoming immobile.

Those suffering from this common ailment are experiencing a problem with what psychologist Albert Bandera called “self-efficacy:” a person’s belief that they can achieve a certain outcome.

Bandura argued that a person’s abilities, cognitive skills, and attitudes constitute that person’s self-system, which determines how that individual perceives and reacts to a given situation. You are the engine and self-efficacy is the fuel.

When your sense of self-efficacy gets swamped, you immediately sink into too-afraid-to-lose quicksand. You begin to doubt yourself and others. One’s self-efficacy is delicate and is easily affected depending on circumstances.

Any number of factors can affect a leader’s self-efficacy. You might find yourself leading confidently with those who report to you but find yourself crumbling when meeting with those you report to. A sudden change in a work project - like team members leaving or a seemingly insurmountable problem surfaces - occurs and you’re now feeling insecure about its potential success.

According to Bandura, a person’s sense of personal capability will influence his or her motivation, learning, performance, and perception of whether a task is doable or not. Leaders with a strong sense of self-efficacy tend to:

To bolster your self-efficacy and ultimately avoid the too-afraid-to-lose syndrome we must make a habit of putting the following into practice:

Maintain A Strong Sense Of Commitment. Remember that what got you promoted was your work ethic, your innovation, and your ability to think clearly and out of the box. Keep yourself rooted to your strengths.

Recover Quickly From Setbacks. Obstacles are part of life; the sooner we can say “OK, let’s work with this new information” and figure out a way to forge ahead the better off we’ll be, and the less power setbacks will have over us in the future.

Accept Challenging Problems As Easily Mastered Tasks. When we take on challenges we grow. The minute that voice in your head says, “No can do,” that’s your signal that growth and wisdom are on the horizon.

Attribute Mistakes To Inadequate Effort Rather Than Personal Weakness. This goes back to recovering quickly from setbacks. Don’t harp on the mistake or take it as a sign of ineptitude; that doesn’t help solve anything. Rather, recognize that this particular challenge required more than what was given, which simply means more time, people, resources might be needed to devote to it.

Take Risks And Try New Ways Of Doing Things. Playing it safe feels comfortable but it’s not nearly as rewarding as breaking out of your comfort zone and finding a solution that you or anyone else has seen before. You don’t have daily epiphanies, you simply need to make a concerted effort to open your mind and accept new ideas, new people, and new methods into the fold.

None of this is easy. It’s a lifetime process. Thinking like this will help all areas of our lives, from professional to personal.

Self-awareness begins with admitting you are human. Becoming a boss doesn’t make you infallible.

Screw-ups need not mire you in the quicksand of self-pity or self-destruction. The path back to the ranks of the good boss is paved with self-awareness.

Just pausing to cast an objective eye on your maladaptive or unproductive behavior or asking a trusted ally to tell you the honest truth about how you’ve been acting lately can get you back on track.

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5 Ways To Stop Being Too Afraid To Lose - Forbes
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