Dear Miss Manners: How can I politely stop someone from showing me endless photos on their cellphone?
I have never been much of a picture-taker, and I don’t enjoy looking at other people’s photos. I can pretend interest in one or two, but after that my eyes glaze over and I am looking for an escape route.
I don’t want to insult my friends or make the situation uncomfortable. Can you recommend a way to get the photo “show and tell” to stop?
“Oh, how lovely. Here, I don’t wish to monopolize your phone. Tell me, what was your favorite thing that happened on that vacation?”
Notice that Miss Manners pointedly does not suggest saying, “Show me.”
Dear Miss Manners: Every day, my elderly mother-in-law texts me about the weather in Florida. “It’s 80 degrees here, yay!” etc. It sounds like bragging, because why else would you text someone in a cold climate and boast about the heat?
I am a 67-year-old woman who lives in the beautiful Midwest. I lived in Florida for 20 years before moving here. I love it here and have since Day One. I don’t tolerate heat well at all (I have gotten heat exhaustion several times in hot weather) and love the cooler temps here.
Yet I get irritated at the bragging tone of my MIL’s daily weather reports. Does Miss Manners have any suggestions for politely getting her to stop these annoying text messages?
“It’s minus-20 degrees here. Yay!”
Miss Manners has noticed, however, that Midwesterners and other cold-weather inhabitants are equally prone to bragging about their own extreme weather. As in, “15 degrees? That’s nothing. Our schools don’t shut down unless the dogs are sticking to the sidewalks.”
So if you can find it in yourself not to look at this as a competition or bragging — especially as you have no desire to live in the heat — it will go a long way toward keeping the peace with your mother-in-law. All that heat is probably making her irritable, anyway.
Dear Miss Manners: I was shopping with a friend who ran into someone she knew, and with whom she began a “catching up” conversation. I was approximately three cart lengths behind them, in a narrow aisle, while my friend and her acquaintance chatted for nearly 10 minutes.
I was not introduced to the acquaintance, and they were talking so fast that there was no pause during which I could introduce myself. They never glanced at me, but out of politeness, I kept eyes on them and smiled as if I was part of the conversation, when clearly I was not.
What is the best thing to do in this situation? Interrupting their conversation to introduce myself seems rude. Is it rude to start looking at items on display or to move on and shop in another aisle?
“I’ll just leave you two to catch up while I go pinch some produce. Meet you in the cereal aisle, Marsha?” Miss Manners suggests you say this regardless of whether you are actually being acknowledged.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
© 2023 Judith Martin
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